Charles Joseph Albert
SHE PASSED ME BY
She passed me by and like some Arabian princess, all I glimpsed was her eye. I wonder why is it the most interesting ones never linger to...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Jan 9, 20211 min read
SEAN HANNITY THE HYPOCAT
(Sung to the tune of Macavity the Mystery Cat) Sean Hannity’s a Fox News host—says he’s the people’s voice, But he’s a giant hypocrite...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Jan 9, 20211 min read
DISPLEASURE CRUISE
"Congress certified the election of Joseph R. Biden Jr. early Thursday, ending attempts to overturn the results in two states. Senators...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Jan 3, 20212 min read
The Curse of Minerva
Earthquake? I peered out through the miniblinds: two slowly stomping sandal-wearing pines. I stepped outside to marvel at the rest: two...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Dec 4, 20201 min read
FIVE BITS OF EMERSON-INDUCED INANITY
(So Don’t Blame Me, Blame Him) 1. I hear from the yapping that pent dogs know infelicity, I learn from the dreary May rains of ecologic...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Nov 22, 20201 min read
LOVE LETTER TO SALLY
Cupid’s cold darts will draw real blood; a less welcome part of his fame: for recall Bobbit's wife, with a cut of the knife, made an...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Nov 8, 20201 min read
I'm A Believer
I thought clowns were only meant for circus tents Leading fools but not a whole country But twenty-sixteen Changed the way that seems...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Oct 30, 20201 min read
Patient Zero, Or Zero Patience?
He called it a partisan coup, it provoked his mulish defiance. But there is no cure for stupid, and he’s sick because: science. “One day...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Oct 12, 20201 min read
Presidential Love
George Washington wooed Martha-- she put up with his wooden kisses, Jefferson owned Sally Hemmings-- no independence for his missus. FDR...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Aug 23, 20206 min read
NOVEMBER MANIFESTO
Charles Joseph Albert We all know people whom we otherwise admire with whom we disagree on political questions such as whether government...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Aug 8, 20201 min read
I Took My Brother's Dachshund to the Cafe (1996)
It's been so long since I've been to a cafe that this ancient quatrain seems quaint. We sipped espresso, snacked on scones, we even ate a...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Aug 1, 20201 min read
TERMINAL DISEASE, 1996
In a cold darkened room in a suburb of Paris, With the rest of the tenants all out on the town, I had been stuck here all day and all...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Jul 11, 20201 min read
A LOW-LEVEL BUG HAS BEEN MAKING THE ROUNDS
From a simpler time, two years ago... A low-level bug has been making the rounds and, two weeks ago I was nauseous, with chills. Last...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Jul 6, 20201 min read
I Want a Mask on You
(Sing this one to the tune of Gershwin's "I've Got a Crush On You," if you know it.) Amazon’s got a million From plain white to vermilion...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Jun 29, 20201 min read
To Be Read With a Whistling 'S'
Biographical note: my mother and maternal grandmother both had a tendency to slightly whistle their "s"es... so these are for anyone who...
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Charles Joseph Albert
May 19, 20201 min read
Zucchini
Although there’s only one of them inside, the whole of my refrigerator is bursting with zucchini; to cook these monsters I’ll need every...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Apr 30, 20201 min read
So Right It Hurts
Don't be afraid of COVID-19! It’s just another flu. Here, drink some hydrochlorozine and the corona won't get you! Let's cure...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Apr 14, 20201 min read
Saisons en Bons Bons
I broke the year in quarters, as a boy, but not the usual seasons you'd expect: these were based on four days I got candy-- yes, only...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Apr 11, 20202 min read
Four Coronavirus Poems
SOCIAL ANIMALS 4/7 My dog doesn’t get why I’m here at home but won’t pass all day throwing bone after bone. She nudges my knee and...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Feb 25, 20201 min read
Labor Helps Reach Jest
Today's title, an anagram is what I call my light verse collection. It's got all the awkward impermeability of your usual anagram based...
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