SOCIAL ANIMALS 4/7
My dog doesn’t get
why I’m here at home
but won’t pass all day
throwing bone after bone.
She nudges my knee
and nuzzles at my arm
to say, “Another walk, man?
Why not? What’s the harm?”
So we go to the park,
Or bike rides to the school.
We can still move around
But conform to the rule
of keeping six feet apart
—the span of the flu.
We do six feet great!
She has four, I have two.
ASYMPTOMATIC 4/9
The GOP, fighting the COVID virus
Had quite a change. They now require us
To sit on the couch and not go to work
And they’ll pay us. One other quirk
is the free health care everyone now gets—
No longer just politicians and vets—
Their ideology so completely meanders
you wonder if COVID turned Trump into Sanders?
SIP 4/10
My metallurgy company is an essential business:
our employees operate an arc melter in place.
Took the dog on a walk; she rolled in poop.
So now we’ve all smelled her in place.
The weather is getting warmer—
I guess we’re going to swelter in place
Kids going funny from so much Call of Duty,
I hope we get no Helter-Skelter in place.
Wife in a silk bra, bedroom door closed...
So naturally I felt her in place.
My kickboxer brother has no one to train
But his skinny sons: welter in place?
Ralph can’t knock Alice to the moon now;
I guess he’ll have to belt her in place.
People in Vallejo and Pittsburgh are lucky:
They get to delta in place.
THE LIST 4/11
This sheltering in place keeps dragging on without an end. If your family’s like mine, already halfway 'round the bend, and you're seeking to amuse them, then allow me, as a friend, to list some classic movies that I wouldn’t recommend:
The Shining is the top one; for, though Kubrick is a master, and the setting is attractive—nowhere's quieter or vaster— a family that's sinking finds its slide goes even faster: Nicholson, stir-crazy, red rums straight to stir-disaster.
Another one is Alien—it stars Sigourney Weaver: her ship’s doomed by a monster, with a cyborg to deceive her. By the scene with the chest-burster you’ll be hooked, a true believer and your nerves will stay on edge until the end, with no reliever.
The Silence of the Lambs is another to wad your panty: the serial killer’s bad, but Anthony Hopkins ups the ante as a creepy uber villain for whom nothing is too scanty to become a murder weapon. Then it’s fava and Chianti.
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