Earthquake? I peered out through the miniblinds: two slowly stomping sandal-wearing pines. I stepped outside to marvel at the rest: two legs led up to hips… above, two breasts!
To see her face I had to squint my eye, above the street, at twenty-five feet high. She screamed at me in such a fearful tone that I was oddly glad to be alone.
“How come you merchant minions to the rule?” she thundered. I just stared. “Answer me, fool! By what right do you lead the world order, and spread your greed through every country’s border?"
“Aw, can it, chick,” I said, a little peeved by her big mouth. “You actually believed I maybe care about this mid east mess? Go bug someone who watches PBS!
I’m missing Idol.” Then I turned to go. She blocked my way with one big bronze-clad toe. “No mortal mocks Minerva’s fury so! Hear me! Hear me well. And when I go,
you give my word to all your coward land or I shall smite you right here where you stand!” Her fingers clutched a giant golden spear— jewel encrusted, and no doubt very dear.
That bauble would have out-trumped even Trump. Still, I could see that it would pack a thump so I abandoned my proposed retreat— besides, Idol was probably a repeat.
“My country's misery is thanks to you! Your troops invade a country, and the stench of rotting corpses are the seeds they sow.” She gathered up her fury, fearful now: “I curse the day you rose up, unheroic, to the fore, and tiptoed trepidatious on the bomber-emptied shore to plant your coward flags proclaiming what? An open store!” I curse your army, rotted to the core!
“I curse your sweatshops, a thousand points of hell, Where millions work for pittance while at home the coffers swell. Some day they’ll come to get you where you little bastards dwell! I curse you money-wringers with each tawdry tiller bell.”
With that, she thrust her spear, and turned to sea, (it caused an earthquake). As for me, I went and dug this spear out of the ground and dragged it straight inside. She found
me once, so I won't take a foolish chance
that she returns to claim her precious lance.
She made it clear this tale's my only duty,
so now I'm free to eBay off this beauty.