Charles Joseph Albert
Mallard Failmore, revisited
Liberals are typically the ones inventing new things, not reacting to them. So Mr. Tinsley's tortured punchlines are a cakewalk to...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Jan 4, 20201 min read
Limericks on Seven Siblings
The eldest of all is named John: I'm afraid he's a bit of a con: sacrificing a pawn, and then, with a yawn announcing your queen is now...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Dec 21, 20191 min read
12 Days of X's
(In My Submission Spreadsheet) On the first day of X’s an editor said to me “We’re sorry to say that this submission isn’t right for The...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Nov 16, 20192 min read
Une Convo Franglais
UNE CONFUSION FRANCAISE M: Bonjour, monsieur. Il est bon de vous rencontrer. F: Bonjour. Madame est américaine? M: Oui. Vous reconnaissez...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Nov 4, 20192 min read
Eulogy for my Father
One father has died, but eight fathers are being mourned. This is the way it is when someone passes. In the case of our father, it is...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Oct 15, 20191 min read
Thrown
It’s a strange thing How your certainty that life sucks And it’s all going to shit Can be postponed by A dog who needs a run at the park...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Sep 26, 20192 min read
Igor Petrovich, Private Eye
This recent business about our Commander in Cheetos looking for Ukrainian help has left me scratching my head. What, is Ukraine a country...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Sep 11, 20191 min read
It's All About Survival: The Unsettler, Installment #2
The second installment of my novel The Unsettler has come out, and here's what my publisher has to say: In this coming issue of SERIAL...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Aug 29, 20191 min read
The kids? Out in the Slay Room
I went out to the garage room where spirits sometimes flicker within its silent brooding gloom; heartsick, growing heart sicker. Three...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Aug 13, 20191 min read
Surpassed
I was not going to be one of those jerk dads who get all defensive when a son surpasses them. But I wasn't prepared for that glint in his...
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(A found poem
Jul 20, 20191 min read
Kevin's Kvetch
I’m descended from John Smith of the Mayflower but I’m not proud of it. We’re all descended from murderers and rapists if you open that...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Jun 8, 20191 min read
The Unsettler
The first installment of my novel The Unsettler is now available from Serial Magazine! The story, a 22nd century adventure of a teenager...
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Charles Joseph Albert
May 29, 20191 min read
My Me Doesn't Know
My me doesn’t know that he’s no longer young; doesn’t get why girls don’t turn in whirls to ogle such a hon. The mirror hints at tales...
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Charles Joseph Albert
May 9, 20191 min read
I Went to a Marvel-ous Movie
I went to a Marvel-ous movie last night The thing was quite slickly done: a bit of a lark, with plenty of snark explosions, fake science,...
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Charles Joseph Albert
May 7, 20192 min read
Disney's Brainstorming Minutes ca 1990
Present: M. Eisner, J. Gould, S. Pickins, R. Hayworth, M. Farrow. Secretary: E. McMahon Eis: Let's hear your ptches. Remember, need...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Apr 16, 20191 min read
I Did a Kind Thing
I did a kind thing late last week though it isn’t in my blog the only witness will not speak because she is my dog. My meal last week was...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Apr 11, 20191 min read
The Money Shot
They photographed a black hole which I’d call no mean feat because the thing’s impossible (they must have found some cheat). It’s hard...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Apr 8, 20191 min read
I Reject Your Rejection!
Dear ( ) Editor: Thank you for your recent rejection letter. I apologize for the form response, but I receive many more rejection letters...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Mar 24, 20191 min read
Le Décalage Horaire
J'arrivais toujours en retard pour la classe de mécanique quantique— on voyait que ce n'était pas par hasard. C'est alors que le prof de...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Feb 23, 20193 min read
An Essay: Summa Contra Theologica
Here is an excerpt from my latest work, a 32-page hypertext titled "Summa Contra Theologica." The full text can be found here. If you...
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