Charles Joseph Albert
Micronomics
Perhaps the crash of twenty-nine came from a trickling up the line of laborers who sent their cash to Wall Street, turning in their stash...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Apr 131 min read
My Perfomance Car
Don’t be such a meanie to mock the Lamborghini We passed him with great ease stuck behind behind the Mercedes. And don’t beR8 the Audi or...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Apr 131 min read
My Love, She is a Pretty Thing
*Published in Better Than Starbucks 2017 My love, she is a pretty thing, a dream of girlish charm, a regular siren when she'd sing (at...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Sep 19, 20231 min read
Go Commando!
The boxer-brief dilemma has a third stand-o: go commando. Spare your waist the tight elastic band-o. Go commando. Easier access for a...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Apr 10, 20233 min read
Ode On A Grecian Urinal (after Keats: Ode on a Grecian Urn)
Thou still unwashed hole of quietness, Thou still unravish'd bride of quietness, Thou foster-child of sloth and poor...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Feb 11, 20231 min read
She Could Not Fart Quietly
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young woman. She had no character flaws to speak of, and she was even rather well off,...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Jan 14, 20231 min read
Not What Frost Thawed
The way Sheryl Crow called on the phone, to offer dough for the rights to my poem, It shook my heart from a bitter mood and saved some...
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Charles Joseph Albert
May 4, 20221 min read
Creepy Crawly Hawley
That junior senator, Josh Hawley Never seemed to look more jolly Than when a band of Creepy-Crawly Loonies in their bloody folly Stormed...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Apr 18, 20221 min read
Oh, Girlie, Why?
Oh Girlie, why d'ya wink your eye? Oh, why d’ya ever bother? I may look spry, but I’m near for-tie, An’ couldn’ I be yer father. You’re a...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Apr 10, 20221 min read
Perhaps I shouldn’t have ordered a quattro
Coffee, coffee, coffee! coffcofecofecoefcoefoefcoefoceocoofoccfrffeevcocfocefceofofoceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Ah, coffee!
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Charles Joseph Albert
Feb 13, 20221 min read
The Man Cold
When his wife Louise told me Barry had a “man cold“ I didn’t need her to explain because the prefix "Man" is never a good thing. Doesn't...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Nov 14, 20211 min read
The Bait Less Clicked Upon (sorry, Frost)
Whose words these are I think I know: he hates both the Obamas so. In articles where they appear his rants are always found below. The...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Nov 1, 20211 min read
Consume, Consume! (Apologies to Frost)
The watch that came (the Teuer Hag) is stunning with a Pravda bag and why not in a brand-new Jag? Or, if you must, buy Coach and Ford so...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Sep 4, 20212 min read
American Lit Easter Egg Hunt
Listen hard and Long fellows, to these barks and these bellows of bards and writers dear. An evangelist’s ride 'cross the countryside of...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Aug 8, 20211 min read
San Francisco Quatrains
As I drove my old clunker down Powell to Market, though the trip started out as a cruise and a lark, it went south when a cop yelled,...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Jul 11, 20211 min read
And Now I Slowly Fast
I sought an organic solution for the gastrointestinal passed; found an alimentary elution, and now I slowly fast.
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Charles Joseph Albert
Jun 26, 20211 min read
Spring Break
In April, when sweet showers cleanse newly budding trees and empty the sky for sunshine in stiff but warming breeze, songbirds start to...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Jun 5, 20211 min read
Stupid Sestets
Don’t eat cantelope with red ant earlobe it will make the great chefs frown. And old octopi make a rotten pie ‘cause those suckers won’t...
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Charles Joseph Albert
May 10, 20211 min read
The Night I Borrowed Steve's Crown Room Card
This scotch that I’m drinking has stopped me from thinking and that was the point after all. But what has me worried is how much I’ve...
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Charles Joseph Albert
Apr 3, 20211 min read
Epigram of the Poetry Critic
Tortured syntax and uneven meter a bad poem make... and a dissatisfied reader.
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