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Writer's pictureCharles Joseph Albert

WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS


Nathaniel begged us for a pup

over each morning's coffee cup.

"I'll walk and feed her!" "I'll clean up

her poop," Sam said. So we said yup.

But once we got one, we found out

the damage wrought by just her snout.

Within a week she made us shout

"Why'd we ever get this lout?"

Puppies from a distance seem

all fun and cuteness, a lovey dream,

like every Facebook/Snapchat meme--

even their fails are fun to stream!

It's like that narcissistic grump

some voted in, for fun—to stump

elitist liberals, and to bump

complacent pols right off their rump,

just to find out they'd been had!

He's covfefe! The worst! So sad!

But that's the way of every cad:

Afar so fun; up close, so bad.

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