a few short months ago, the horror that we find ourselves in now hadn't even seemed a remote possibility, and I was able to write, in all fun:
THE GOP WAS IN A SLUMP 5/16
The GOP was in a slump:
“Who can give our polls a jump?
Kick Clinton in her iron rump?”
It won’t be Cruz, the pious chump!
Or Rubio and his scripted stump!
Nor Christie, the big oafish lump!”
“Who’s crass enough to call her ‘frump’?
And mean enough to spew and thump
misogynism like a sump?”
They huddled in a hopeful hump
and prayed for some outsider shlump
who'd spread resentment like a mump.
They searched in flophouse, slum and dump
for madman, loonie, ghoul or grump,
pulling their own hair by the clump,
then combed back over each bare bump
above mugs orange from tanning pump
with precious fingers, short and plump.